Tradition, friendship, jealousy, it's all there...

I'm getting married in March 2010. We have started planning the wedding, but I'm stuck with one decision. Who I should have as my best man. I have always had women as close friends and really don't have any men as a "best friend" status. I only have my younger brother and my female best friends husband as a close male friend. My brother and I do not have a close relationship and my friends husband is a friend but not that close to me. I'm only having these 2 on my side on the day. I don't know who to pick for that role. Please help!

You need to get more friends.  How old are you? What's wrong with you? How can you have lived your entire life without developing more male friendships? Our advice is to make like Paul Rudd in I Love You Man, crash some football games and go make yourself a few buddies.

Kidding. If you're shaking in rage while reading that paragraph, good, it just confirms what should be obvious: your best friends are your best friends, regardless of gender.  Don't let wedding tradition trump your personal values and personal relationships.

Wedding norms have evolved and they're still evolving. What once was taboo is now commonplace. You can have women-best-men, men-maids-of-honor (as long as it's not Patrick Demsey in a hellish-looking movie that we refuse to watch), women groomsmen, etc. Unless your families are ultra-conservative, you have carte blanche to mix and match as you please.

So that's our first bit of advice: consider actually using women as groomspeople. It's not as weird as it sounds. Assuming your bride is cool with the idea, you can have them wear black dresses that blend in with the tuxes.

It sounds, though, like you're resigned to only using men. Fair enough. If that's the case--if you're choosing between your best friend's husband and your brother--go with the brother.  You're not that close to either dude, but one's family and one's not.

Here's another thing you can do. Minimize the importance of the whole "groomsmen" thing by focusing less on your actual groomsmen and more on groom events. Yes, we realize the phrase "groom events" is just about the cheesiest thing we've ever said on The Plunge, but, in this particular case, it gets you out of your jam.  You can have dinners, parties, and getaways wigh your very closest friends...regardless of whether they're male or female.

Best of luck, and remember that the "Best Man" label was created decades and decades (and centuries?) ago in an era before the NBA three-pointer. Times have changed. Go with your gut.