The Plunge Blog

We hate New Year's Resolutions. They strike us as cheesy and obvious and trite. And a little arbitrary, no? Why not March 17th Resolutions or St. Patrick's Day Resolutions? After all, you're pretty much the same dude on January 1st as you were on December 31st, just a little older, a little poorer, and a billion times more hung over. Not much changes. In a sense, New Year's Resolutions are to self-improvement what Valentine's Day is to romance.

Then again... be honest. Did you make resolutions on St. Patrick's Day? Did you actually think about self-improvement throughout the year? Me neither.

This list is not life-changing. It's not earth-shattering. But self-improvement, like nearly all improvement, is incremental.

Most of this list applies for all men. Sprinkled in are a few for guys getting married.

1. Go to the gym for the first 7 days of January, then stop.
Why bullshit yourself? Let's call it like it is. Every item on this list is something you can actually do without overhauling your schedule, habits, finances, or relationship.

2. Filter your Twitter.
A good rule of thumb: If at least 5 people won't find your thought interesting, don't Twitter it, Mutter it.

3. Don't be a Favre.
Commit or don't commit. But don't play Hamlet with your lady.

4. Surprise her with an omelet.

5. Don't freak out if she's freaking out.
It's natural. And after the wedding, she'll return to normal. For perspective, when you watch a football game you scream obscenities, your face gets all red and scary, and you yell at players who are 2,000 miles away and wouldn't listen to you anyway. And somehow she still accepts you. (Now if only the wedding planning could be condensed into three hours...) More on Bridezilla here.

6. Visit your family...
...When you don't have to. So on a weekend besides Thanksgiving or whatever, arrange a low-stress visit that's unfettered by ceremony.

7. Get a new suit.
Not something for job interviews, but something stylish and casual for your punishing schedule of social events. Get it tailored. Splurge on a new tie and well-fitted dress shirt--the details count.

8. Don't be "That Guy."
You know That Guy. He brags about expensive shit he just bought, he kisses up to the boss, and, in all likelihood, he can't stop talking about how awesome his wedding will be. Never be That Guy.

9. Take up smoking.
It's fun. It's the perfect excuse to take a break from work. And cigarettes are medically proven to have fewer calories, fat, and carbohydrates than fruit or vegetables.

10. Don't do everything you see on dumb New Year's Resolution Lists.
Like the above. And if you meet the dual criteria of: 1) smoker; 2) getting married, use this as your final, ironclad reason to quit. You're now in a family, so you're infesting them with nicotine, too. Also? You started smoking so you could look cool. You'll soon be married. You no longer have to look cool.

You'll find 11 - 50 here. Enjoy.