The Plunge Blog

When you were born with a Y chromosome, you were blessed with the following advantages: standing urination, comfortable shoes, 10,000 years of higher wages, a superior (if imaginary) sense of direction, and, best of all, excusal from planning the wedding reception.

This is your fiancée's burden. You're (mostly) off the hook. So unlike the wedding-porn, we won't waste your time with 20 pages of tedium--when you should book the venue ("the earlier the better: 96 months in advance!!!"), questions to ask the vendors (yawn) or "insider's tips" like the importance--as if you would never consider this--of getting multiple quotes. (You think?)

There's only one catch. While your bride plans the reception, you need to make sure that's she also planning a party. You'll be eating the food, you'll be drinking the booze, you'll be dancing to the music. It's your job, as the groom, to make it feel like a party and not a ritual. So it behooves you to monitor the situation--from a safe distance--and keep your eyes peeled for signs of alarm.

Much can go wrong. Poor choices can be made. 10 warning signs that demand your attention:

Danger Sign 1: The Early Bird

When it comes to scheduling, think of your reception like a first date. No sensible guy would ever want a first date in the morning or afternoon. Why? It all comes down to this equation:

Morning = sunlight = no alcohol = no chance of sex.

While you are guaranteed sex on your wedding night (for more on that, click here), your guests are not. Your buddies are not. Look out for them. Like a first date, keep the reception at night. More generally, early-in-the-day receptions sort of suck all around. If your festivities end at 2pm, everyone awkwardly wonders what to do next and goes home unsatisfied. You might as well elope. If you need to cut costs, it's better to squeeze the guest list or pick a cheaper venue.