Oh man. That's a rough one hxc.  I love that she extrapolates that if the invitations don't include your parents' name, then clearly your bride is pregnant. Too funny.

On the bright side, and at the risk of sounding cheesy as hell, it sounds like her heart is in the right(ish) place. At least she's concerned about having your parents be included, as opposed to being frozen out.  A lot of mother-in-laws would be fighting to have the names off, not on...

So far my own strategy has been to just go along with it and roll with the punches (though, granted, mine have not been nearly as bad as that!).  In my situation, the in-laws are paying for everything at the reception and for that reason I am just leaving things up to them. If they ask questions of me I answer honestly but that's as far as I go.

I am paying for the limo and the DJ so I really didn't include anybody but my bride-to-be in the decision making process. Is that a bad thing? I'm not sure. So far though it is working out really well and I have very little stress about the whole thing

Whoa, I definitely understand how you feel, my future mother in law has acted very similar during our wedding planning process. Like your example I think her heart is in the right place but, the way she phrases thinks comes across as rude and rediculous. Instead of making a sensible recommendation or suggestion everything she does comes across as an ultimatum. Now granted they (her parents) have generously paid for everthing but, it would be nice to at least be asked for an opinion. I have had to work real hard to stay positive but, its very upsetting when the mother-in-law-to-be causes my fiance to become upset or cry over something (in my opinion) stupid like what the cake looks like. With in reason if my fiance wants a cake to look a certain way, mother's opinion is irrelevant. Never thought such seemingly trivial details could grow into ulcer inducing anxiety. (not about getting married to my fiance I love her, just the prep. for the ceremony). Good luck, and the mother in law will hopefully return to normal after the wedding.

Just a few comments.

Sabbath: Wow. I am glad my mother has some perspective. In my experience, at a wedding, all eyes should be on, um, well, the Bride. And the Groom, but as a side note, the bride spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on that damned dress. EYES ON HER. Hope things work out, if only so your fiancee's father can walk her down the aisle.

Sometimes, the groom's parents aren't on the invites. I would never, in a million years, equate thier names not being on the invites to mean that it's a shogun wedding. And neither would anyone I know. Odd thought.....

The only thing that my future mother in law is driving me mad on is where to hold the ceremony. Because she'd like us to get married in her church, and the future hubby and I would like to avoid that. Not that there's anything wrong with the church, but we'd just rather not (Probably because he's a Methodist and I'm an Ecclectic Pagan, but, meh). We're working her down, because in the end, the bulk of it's comming out of our pockets, but it still comes up. Mildly annoying, when it comes down to it.