Can we make this fun? No. That’s impossible. But we’ll minimize the pain, give you answers, and show you how to create the illusion that you give a damn.

Yawn. We all know the cliché. You say nothing, do nothing, think nothing. That’s your job, right? (Kind of. Let us explain.)

Your bride is being poisoned. Corrupted. Brainwashed. Learn what she's reading...so you can prepare yourself for what's to come.

Your fiancée is complicated. She's not Bridezilla; never treat her as a single stereotype. Instead, treat her as five stereotypes. Which one is she?

As soon as people hear that you’re getting married, they will bombard you with questions. Dodge these. Learn the "Bull Durham cliches" for media coaching.

Danger: other people are giving your fiancée relationship advice, designed to manipulate you. Use jujitsu to regain the momentum. Here's how.

Get it over with, or stretch out your engagement? A longer engagement can have some hidden downsides. Learn the pros and cons.

You must convince your new family that you will be a stable provider, a faithful husband, and a good dad. You must lie.

The odds are slim, very slim, that she'll go for eloping. On the other hand, you never know if you don't try...

It never ends. The wedding, reception, rehearsal dinner, post-wedding brunch—and now you need to worry about an engagement party?

Seize control of what really matters: your gifts. Learn some guerilla tactics on how you can actually get something useful.

The gift registry. Use it cunningly. Sneakily. Understand the fine print of your return policies. With a little research, you can get cold, hard, cash.