Seize control of what really matters: your gifts. Learn some guerilla tactics on how you can actually get something useful.

In a stunning triumph of the Luddites, most aspects of the modern wedding have resisted technological evolution. Invitations? We still chop down trees, lick stamps until our tongue goes dry, and then mail ‘em out as if we’ve never used a cutting-edge technology called “e-mail.” We still plunk down gobs of cash on leather-bound photo albums, even though we’d get more use out of online sites like Flickr or Facebook. We still develop arthritis by scribbling out thank you notes, even though it’d be more practical—and cheaper—to just fire off a text message.

There’s only one exception: gifts.

In contrast to every other facet of your nupitals, the process of selecting and receiving wedding gifts has been streamlined, automated, and gloriously optimized to minimize the hassle you and your guests would have slogged through just 10 years ago. Embrace this new technology. Master it. Use it to maximize your loot.

We won’t insult your intelligence. You’ve been to weddings before, so we’re assuming you know the basic concept of a gift registry. You’ve probably also heard of—and perhaps bought a gift for your friends—using WeddingChannel, a site that aggregates internet-enabled wedding registries from top retailers. It's dead-simple. You scan in the store, your guests buy online, the gift gets shipped directly to you.

It would be easy to bless the process and let your fiancée go nuts with barcode scanners and websites. But if you go on autopilot and trust the entire operation to your fiancée, then you’ll end up with nothing but gravy boats and fingertip towels. Who-hoo.

Play your cards right and you can walk away with a lot more in cash prizes and gifts:

1. In case you have any doubts about registering…Don't be dumb. It’s a no-brainer. This is like doubling-down on 11 when the dealer has a 6—it’s the smart call, it’s the only call. If you don’t register, then you’re stuck with a trunkload full of candles, oven mitts, and bed skirts that you’ll have to return to an understaffed service desk on a busy Sunday afternoon. Welcome to hell. Secondly, by registering and picking the stores in advance, you are deciding whose “rules” to live by— the perks, refund policies, and discount programs will differ considerably. Picking the right store could save and earn you hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

2. Jump in, and jump in early. Traditionally, the unspoken rule has been that wedding gifts are for the bride. Fair? In the old days, yes. Back then, the purpose of gifts was to furnish the kitchen and dining room of a 19-year-old-newlywed who had nothing she needed to properly “entertain.” It followed, therefore, that the gifts should be chosen by her, since she has the better nose for that sort of thing. Things have changed. You already have steak knives. You own a toaster. You are less likely to have formal dinner parties and more likely to have a superbowl party where your expertise in beer mugs and shot glasses will be tested. Yes, she’ll still want to “upgrade” any and everything around the house, but you’re within your rights to lobby for the inclusion of some fun items, too. She might be locked into the old paradigm—open her eyes by suggesting the following compromise:

3. Gifts for him, gifts for her. Be a realist. Don’t pick a fight on the crockery crap—you won’t win—but suggest that in addition to kitchenware, each of you gets to choose some totally unnecessary cool things that would make you happy. (Fun gifts that would make you happy. Crazy idea, right?) How can you find gifts you want to register for? Squelch the old thinking that a wedding gift must come from Ye Old Stuffy Store. The following are now completely acceptable registry options:

Amazon.com
Using Amazon, a friend of a friend recently registered for Mets jerseys, The Office, Wii’s Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and even an iTunes gift card. Like Neo taking the red pill, Amazon will open up an entire new world, a world that overflows with DVDs, books, digital cameras, video games, basically everything you could possibly buy except hard drugs. Some day that will hit Amazon, too.

Target
Hey. Don’t knock it. Maybe Tar-jay doesn’t have the glamour of a Williams-Sonoma, but you’ll find better prices on solid home appliances—this is your argument to your fiancée—and, better yet, it lets you sneak in electronics, automotive, sports, etc….

REI
If she says it’s too masculine, then tell her that’s sexist. Why can’t a girl enjoy tents, sleeping bags, hunting rifles and ammo?

Bottle Notes
Two words: Free. Booze. Yep, in one of the industry’s best kept secrets, you can register for bottles of Merlot and Chianti. Just google "wine gift registry."

4. Offer your guests prices for every budget. Obvious but necessary. If everything on your list is $100 bucks or steeper, well…you kind of suck. Make sure to register for plenty of less expensive items, and while you’re at it, throw in a $1000 plamsa TV— hey, you never know.

5. The more the merrier. In the old days people registered at one store…and that was that. Now couples are registering at 3 stores on average, which gives you, and your guests, more options. Make sure that guests from out-of-town who may be technology-challenged can drive to some national store with locations all over the country, e.g., Macy's or Bed Bath & Beyond.

6. Use a grand aggregator. And by “grand aggregator” we basically mean the granddaddy of them all, Wedding Channel. Yes, they are owned by The Knot, and their site has a grotesque amount of wedding-porn (“Find the perfect bouquet!”), but it’s well worth the nuisance. Two key benefits. One: you avoid the uncomfortable necessity of letting people know where you registered—most people who don’t know start by searching at WeddingChannel. Two: they let you consolidate multiple registries all in the same account, so you can access, for example, Crate and Barrel, Williams-Sonoma, and Amazon all on one dashboard. Easy for your guests, easy for you, and it dramatically expands the potential gift genres.

7. Think about the return policy. Even if computerized gift registries would seem to imply that you’ll only get exactly what you want, and nothing more, you will get duplicates, off-registry purchases from the store of your choice, and damaged items. Why not walk away from these with CASH or gift-cards you can use towards electronics There are plenty of ways to game the system.

8. Think about Rewards and Completion Discounts. Don’t feel guilty. You are bringing these stores thousands of dollars in registry-driven gift purchases. What are they doing for you?

Some stores (Macy’s) actually offer a reward program where you can earn a percentage of what your guests spend. You could walk away with 5%-10% of the total bounty in a gift card to the store.

It’s customary for stores to offer the couple 10% off items on the registry that were not purchased—the so called “completion discount.” Why not use the policy to get a discount on anything you might happen to want? Mattress? Check. Sofa? Check. Flat screen? Check. But be careful, some stores will monitor when you add the item or might exclude big-ticket items like furniture from their completion discount program.

9. Don’t fill the house, register for the house. Feeling ballsy? You can cut through the clutter and set up either a Honeymoon Registry or, even more daring, a Mortgage Registry.

Honeymoon Registry
Get your guests to subsidize the honeymoon. Through any number of sites, you can establish a “Honeymoon Registry” where guests buy coupons for cocktails, sky diving, or a romantic dinner. It’s a wink-wink sham: the travel company pools these gifts together and then gives you the consolidated bulk dollar amount…but hey, who cares? Everyone wins—the guests feel like they bought you a specific “thing” and you get a free honeymoon.

Mortgage Registry
Or maybe there’s only one thing that you really want, and that’s a new home. In a trend that’s not quite commonplace but no longer taboo, you can create a Mortgage Registry. Just be careful. The rules on this are tricky and the tax code is complicated, since many home-owner loans calculate your minimum down payment by excluding gifts. This sounds wishy washy as hell, but before you make the decision, we recommend you speak with your financial advisor (if you have one) or the closest thing you’ve got (an I-banker or lawyer buddy).

10. Support your favorite charity. No, not Costanza’s “Human Fund.” Maybe, just maybe, you have everything you could possibly want. You could try to tell guests that no present is necessary—but a lot of them won’t listen to you. So if you’re Tony-Stark-rich, just ask guests to give to your favorite charity in lieu of a gift, or use one of the formal “charity registry” programs are out there. Just google “Charity Registry” and you’ll find one that works. Or you could donate directly to a perfectly good charity at Tips@ThePlunge.com.

Next, for more advanced gift registry techniques, learn how to game the system.