|Breaking Down Bridezilla: What Kind of Bride is Your Girlfriend?|
|The Quiz In Plain Text|
Your fiancée is complicated. She's not Bridezilla; never treat her as a single stereotype. Instead, treat her as five stereotypes. Which one is she?
Your fiancée is more complicated than the "Bridezilla" cliché. She's not a single stereotype. Instead, she's one of five stereotypes. Take our simple quiz. Your answers will determine what kind of bride she’ll become, and more importantly, how you can cope. Three quick notes:
(1) Don't be alarmed if she falls into two (or even more) Bride Stereotypes. It happens.
(2) The answers are deliberately extreme. None will perfectly describe your lady; just pick whichever one fits best.
(3) Don't show her this quiz. It's demeaning at best and relationship-killing at worst. You've been warned.
It's easy to take the quiz. For each answer, just pick A or B. Tabulation instructions follow at the end. Ready? Let's go.
1) At work, she's not exactly known as a "number cruncher" or crack budgeter.
A) It's hopeless. I love the girl, but she uses a calculator and then enters the result into Excel. She couldn't count to 3 if you spot her the 1 and the 2.
B) Actually, no. Don't tell her I said this, but she's as good with numbers, charts, and spreadsheets as I am.
If A --> Bridezilla template "I" (Don't worry about the letters now; that will come at the end.)
2) At the grocery store, she'll buy a generic store brand instead of brand name.
A) Yep. Toilet paper is toilet paper (even when it feels like sandpaper).
B) Not a chance. She thinks it's worth a few extra bucks to "guarantee quality."
If B --> Bridezilla template "P"
3) When you ask, "What do you want for dinner?" she can't decide, goes back and forth, then launches into an hour-long dialogue about what to eat.
A) That's her, It takes forever. The time we spend eating is inversely proportional to the time we spend deciding.
B) No way, she plans her meals-sometimes days in advance.
If A --> Bridezilla template "H"
4) She jokes with you about how stupid most weddings are, how everything gets blown out of proportion, how she wishes the whole production would just disappear.
A) Yeah. It's weird. She's more like the typical groom-she thinks the whole thing is a chore.
B) Are you serious? Are there any brides who act like that? Can they please call mine.
If A --> Bridezilla template "M"
5) When you travel together, do you trust her to make the arrangements?
A) Shhh...don't tell her this, but not really. She's flighty and disorganized and if it was left up to her, we'd never book a hotel room.
B) Sure. She's good at scouring the web for cheap flights and hotel packages.
If A --> template "I"
6 ) When we started to discuss the wedding planning--the big questions like when, where, how big--she went back and forth a thousand times.
A) She can't make up her mind. One minute she wants a 20-person ceremony in her hometown, the next minute she wants a destination wedding in Guam.
B) No dilly-daddling here. She knows what she wants with deadly certainty...and it's sort of frightening.
If A --> template "H"
7) Be honest. When she brings a bottle of wine to a dinner party, is she more worried about how the wine will taste...or impressing the guests with a fancy label?
A) As long as the wine tastes good, what's the difference? She's cool with bringing a $7 bottle-frankly she prefers beer
B) Are you kidding me? A $7 bottle to a dinner party? HA! No, she wouldn't go for that.
If B --> template "P"
8) When weekend guests stay at her place, she's so relaxed, so mellow, so unfettered by pomp and circumstance, that she forgets to give them clean towels.
A) That's so her! She's like me and doesn't worry about decorum.
B) Way off. Before she has company she scrubs the bathroom, buys fresh groceries and practically leaves a chocolate mint on the pillows.
If A --> template "M"
How to Score:
Add up your letters. (i.e. I, M, P, H)
If you scored 2 Ps, you have "Prada Bride."
If you scored 2 Is, you have "Charmingly Incompetent Bride."
If you scored 2Ms, you have "Alarmingly Mellow Bride"
If you scored 2 Hs, you have "Hamlet Bride."
If you didn't score 2 of any one letter, you have "Government Issue Bride."
What do these stereotypes mean? The next page breaks it down.
By the way....is this quiz absurdly and stupidly simplistic? Of course. Consider it a paradoy of those other "Fun Relationship Quizes!" you see at the newstands. If you think that you will identify your bride's personality after 8 lousy questions, well, you need more help than we can provide. And our the stereotypes (on next page) fair or accurate? Of course not. We're painting with a broad brush. It's mostly in jest. Even the cartoonish generalizations, however, might give you just a hint of insight...