Engagement Ring Buying Guide: Overview

In any good video game, you can't win until you defeat the "Big Boss." The engagement ring is the Big Boss. Learn how to win.

Engagement Proposal Ideas

In any good video game, you can't win until you defeat the "big boss." This can be a flame-throwing dragon, a ninja, Darth Vader... there's always a big boss.

For the courtship of your girlfriend, buying the engagement ring is the big boss. It's the summation of every frustrating, complicated, agonizing element of your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Think about it. In this climactic battle, you will face:

  1. Confusion (How much to spend? What kind of ring does she want? Should you surprise her?)
  2. Risk of humiliation (What if it's not big enough? And why do you keep asking that question?)
  3. Suffering (Two months' salary? Really? Damnit.)
  4. Indecision (Simple or ornate? Platinum or Gold?)
  5. Doubt (Maybe the fact that I'm having a hard time buying the ring is actually telling me, subconsciously, that I shouldn't get married? I'm screwed. Screwed!)

On the one hand, buying an engagement ring is expensive, perplexing, intimidating, and psychologically draining. On the other hand... wait, no, there's really no "on the other hand." Buying an engagement ring is pretty much all negative.

All that said... relax. The trick is just to get a little bit of guidance, a little orientation, and then an expert to show you the way. And that's where we come in.

Before buying the engagement ring, you'll want to understand the following, all of which is found in The Plunge's Engagement Ring Buying Guide:

The Basic Language
You don't have to become a diamond expert. In fact, even if you geeked-out online for hours and hours, you probably couldn't even tell a good diamond from bad. Still, you need to learn the basics, you need to learn the language. Start by studying the Four C's of diamond buying--Cut, Clarity, Color, and Carat. Once you've mastered the Four C's, find out more about diamond grading and gemologists.

How Much to Spend
Two months' salary on a dimaond ring?! Cruel? Exorbitant? Extortion? Maybe, but this is the industry standard. Actually, there is a method to this madness. The thought is that if the guy can save up two months' salary, at least there's some basic stability in his life, as opposed to an 18-year-old with $97 bucks to his name. Find out how much you're supposed to spend on an engagement ring. And we're just going to go out on a limb and guess that you wouldn't mind saving some money. If that's the case, don't miss: Engagement Ring: 10 Rules for Saving Money.

Finding Her Ring Size and Style
Assuming you don't go shopping together, how do you find her ring size? Learn some sneaky, guerilla-warfare style techniques. They involve soap, your fingers, lying, and outright theft. Start here.

Should You Go "Ring Shopping" Together?
This is potentially the answer to all your ring buying problems. A guarantee that, no matter what, you won't screw this up. Then again, it drains the occasion of all romance. Understand the Pros and Cons of engagement ring shopping with your girlfriend.

Where to Buy the Engagement Ring
It's tough to find anyone impartial, because every retail store says "Buy Here!" and every online diamond store says "Click Here to Buy!" How do you even know where to begin? Can you actually trust an online diamond merchant, where you never even see the diamond ring with your own eyes? Find out if buying an engagement ring online is right for you.

Diamond Grading Reports
Every diamond over a half carat should have a grading report. It's a good idea for some smaller sized diamonds as well. (Think twice about buying from a diamond merchant that does not carry graded diamonds.) To the untrained eye, a diamond grading report is archaic, cryptic, and less straightforward than the calculation they use to find a BCS rankings. Here's how to make sense of the damn thing.

Diamond Ring Insurance
You're forking over thousands of bucks on an engagement ring. Miserable. The only thing worse, however, would be if you blew all that money and then have nothing to show for it. Protect yourself with insurance for your diamond engagement ring.

Diamond Swapping
It's a horror story: you take your diamond ring to a jewelry for work, he fixes it, he gives it back to you... and your diamond has been replaced with a phony. Is it common? No. Can it happen? Yep. Minimize the chance of this diamond swapping happening to you.

Once you've scored the ring, make sure you don't blow the actual proposal itself.

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Comments (12)

What's with the diamonds?

Engaged chick here... listen, while there are lots of women who dream about the enormous gaudy diamond ring, there are plenty of us out there who would actually prefer another gemstone (if any). Many of my friends think diamond rings are tacky and hate the traditional engagement ring. Personally, my engagement ring has a created (read: cheaper AND just as beautiful) triangle-shaped sapphire stone set in 10K white gold. When picking an engagement ring, make sure you have a really good concept of what kind of person your fiancee is. Two carat diamonds are appropriate for some and completely wrong for others. Sometimes a simple, beautiful design is better than an overwhelming one.
lluft, June 08, 2009
 

cubic zirconia is cool! but check first.

i think if you DON'T go ring shopping together, and you have the cash, diamond is best.

however, i chose my ring, and wanted cubic zirconia. a comparable ring as a diamond would have cost $4000, and mine cost under $300. it's durable and no one knows it's not a diamond if i don't tell them. i am not good with fancy belongings and didn't want the burden of irreplaceable expensive jewelry. i didn't want to make my fiance blow a lot of money on it.

that approach made me happy, so i hope readers don't rule it out, but yes, it does depend on the girl, and some people still insist on ritzy diamond shit-- hopefully they back it up by buying ritzy stuff for you too.
ktnxbai, June 10, 2009
 

Ebay and Auction sites

While most will crucify me, I got a 4500$ Ring off ebay for a meager 800$. The way Ebay and Paypal are now adays the buyer is much more protected that the seller. I made sure their was a return policy and went straight to a jeweler the day Iit arrived. Was 100% of what the person said and the proprietor offered to buy it off me for double what I paid. Gladly denied and my fiancee was none the wiser I got her ring from an auction website.

TheKnighten, June 24, 2009
 

Listen to your girl!

Let me tell all of you guys one thing. Listen to your girl! If she is talking about marriage and is either giving you hints or telling you straight out about what kind of ring she wants, listen to her! she obviously knows what she wants! And you don;t always have to spend two months salary on her ring. Some of us like things to be simple. Then ring I am getting is no where near worth two months of my man's salary. But I got to pick the ring that I wanted. This is not something that you really have to stress about. :)
Christina, July 18, 2009
 

...

I picked out my engagement ring, and I chose a $200 1/4 carat ring from Walmart. I love it because I'm not a jewelry person so its small size (and low cost) made me feel comfortable. I guess I'm also gifted with small hands so it looks nice on me. I did read that the rings at Walmart type stores typically appraise for higher than what you paid which is not the case for rings bought at Kay Jewelers type places.
Molly, July 19, 2009
 

Pick the right setting!

The issue of choosing the right metal for the ring got briefly mentioned, but it is probably one of the most important decisions you'll make when choosing the ring.The diamond is really only half of the equation...you need to make sure you're getting a ring that is going to be able to hold it securely in place. As someone who has been spending way too much time looking into engagement rings, I personally think platinum is the best way to go since it's more durable and doesn't need to be replated. Definitely try to find out what your gf likes, but when in doubt, it's useful to know that something like 80% of women say they prefer platinum. That's coming from someone who has spent way too much time looking into engagement rings!
Dylan, July 30, 2009
 

About metals

I ran into a lot of problems with choosing metals because she wanted a white metal, but platinum was too expensive for me and most white golds had nickel in them that she was allergic to. I ended up going for palladium. It looks, acts and feels like platinum but is currently way way cheaper (a little less than 18k white gold). I had to get it online because no local jewelers carried it but it was definitely the right choice. I will admit it took a little explaining to her the day after and I'm sure she looked it up behind my back but she seems rather impressed with the find.
Nik, September 14, 2009
 

listen and ask

my fiance knew my only thing I cared was yellow gold which these days is hard to find. i really didn't care about the ring all i wanted was him to ask. so knowing me didnt get anything too big he got what was approppriate and the best quality of the size and setting he thought fit my personality. I'm glad he divided the number of carats he could afford into 3 smaller diamonds I think its much classier.
alex p, September 21, 2009
 

Old mixed with new

Family is very important to my fiance and I, so we took some of the smaller surrounding diamonds from both her and my grandmothers old wedding rings and are having a ring custom made to fit them. She also wanted a blue sapphire, instead of a diamond. The blue center stone really pops when set against the diamonds and the palladium band. With the savings from the stones, we are able to put more money into the custom crafting and make her a ring with alot of engraving work, similar to Tacori rings. In the end, she is getting the kind of ring she dreamed of without it costing me a fortune.
Kevin H, October 21, 2009
 

Not a heartshaped and pink kind of girl

So we're young and in love and broke as can be... so when the issue of a ring came up I said get what you can afford. (the proposal was couchside, though i did make him take to his knees once i realized he wasn't joking... whoops. )My guy leaves a silver box on my dresser which i find after work, inside is a gold ring with a pink heart shaped stone, 3 small diamonds on each side, and "I love you" enscribed on the band.... i tell him i love it, but initially i'm freaking out... this doesn't look like anything i had in mind... bla bla bla. "I'm not a heartng shaped and pink kinda girl..." It took me a little while, but i realized that he doesn't see all my B.S. insecurities that I see... that ring means the world to me, and no its not worth a ton of money, but I'd rather pay the rent than have a rock... Now if we can just figure out how to buy a house so I could plan the damn wedding... Btw, he picked out the colors... purple and yellow, never would have thought of that myself.
Rachel J, October 31, 2009
 

those grading reports

"To the untrained eye, a diamond grading report is archaic, cryptic, and less straightforward than the calculation they use to find a BCS rankings." haha, that cracked me up. ahhg the BCS.

diamond grading reports were really confusing when i first learned about them, but they made a lot more sense after reading guides like the one on this site (if you follow that link).. so thanks. for the person casually reading through this guide though, i'd add that NOT all reports are the same. you want to go with an independent lab like GIA, a lab that invented the 4 C's. if you follow the link, this site recommends GIA, so i'm really just stealing their own words heh.

one other thing; if you're buying online or B&M, wherever, look for a satisfaction guarantee. a diamond is a bit pricey to say the least, so that can really help you feel more comfortable making a purchase.
danceathon , November 19, 2009
 

Engagement Ring Buying Guide: Overview

I recommend "Edward James & Co. - Diamond Engagement Ring Experts." They were so helpful, informative and had the lowest priced certified loose diamonds and the best looking ring settings. Their diamond guidance section and the expert help made it a breeze. Thanks to Vee and Ed. I was astonished by the center diamond that I could get for the budget we had. Their web address is http://www.edwardjamesandco.com
Alyssa, January 02, 2010
 
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