Bachelor Party

How To Be An Idiot and Ruin Your Bachelor Party

It is good to let yourself go wild and have some crazy fun during your bachelor party. But there is a fine line between having fun and being a jackass. You can cross that line. But there is another line after the jackass line. You can cross that one, too. But after that, you’ve gone over the line.

We don’t mean to sound like Nervous Nellies, or Prudish Pablos. After all, this is your bachelor party we’re talking about. But on the other hand, if you allow the crazy to go to level 10, there’s a definite point of diminishing returns.

As a rule of thumb, you know you have crossed that line when you find yourself getting arrested.  All your awesome memories are suddenly a lot less amusing when you wake up in jail with a terrible hangover and it costs you a ton of money and you don’t even get to meet Mike Tyson.

For an illustrative lesson, take the recent example of five nice young men from the UK who were recently booted from their flight to Vegas. (When we say “nice” we mean drunken louts. And when we say “young,” well, their faces have been blurred on the videos that ended up in news reports, but these dudes appear to be bald and red-faced. On the other hand, they are British.)

Remember: what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens on your way to Vegas is splashed all over the Internet.

Here’s what happened. (Take note, for these are all the things you should not do):

First, the five aforementioned British men, apparently on a bachelor party, drank way too much  on their flight from Manchester, UK to Las Vegas, USA. As is the tradition among drunken England males, they began to fight among themselves. It is possible that alcohol was not the real issue. It’s also possible they are just assholes.

This theory is supported by the fact that when other passengers suggested the overly loud celebrants shut their mutton-holes, the bachelor party began smoking cigarettes—on the plane. As far as we know, it hasn’t been OK to smoke on a plane since before Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister. Even more recklessly, they refused to buckle their seatbelts. Which is a direct violation of Sky Law.   

The ghastly bachelor party then devolved into such a fracas that the flight had to be diverted to Winninipeg, where the men were taken off the plane and arrested.

It’s embarrassing enough that the other passengers erupted into applause and cheers as these dolts were walked off. But even more humiliating, the arresting officers were Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Have you ever been politely handcuffed? Not a good feeling. It’s like having someone apologize while they punch you in the face.

This particular bachelor party’s excessive stupidity may also end up being quite expensive, since the airline they were on—Thomas Cook—does not fly out of Winnipeg.

And here our cautionary tale comes to an end, with five fractious fellows stranded in a cold Canadian city, shivering in a jail instead of basking in the warm Vegas sun. That is one precious bachelor party memory none of them will ever forget.

(Check out the full story–with video!–here.)

Bottom Line

Don’t be an idiot on a plane. And if you must be an idiot, at least buckle your seatbelt.

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