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“Romantic” Proposal Ideas That Don’t Suck

There are plenty of decent, thoughtful, and romantic proposal ideas. And lots of dumb ones. Get the pros and cons here.

Proposal Ideas

Four days. Your girlfriend has been looking forward to four days--and, arguably, maybe a few more--her entire life: 1) her wedding; 2) becoming a mother; 3) an event that already happened with some other dude in high school or college; and 4) the engagement proposal. Let's focus on #4. The proposal matters. And you know this. In fact, you're probably over-thinking it, sweating it, getting paranoid.

If you're like most guys, you're having some version of the following inner-monologue: "Okay, this proposal thing needs to be romantic, but I don't wanna be some damn cheeseball. Should I do it in public? Yeah. Yeah. That'll make it memorable. Wait, but then I'll be the mope on one knee in a restaurant asking her to marry me, and what if she says no? And what about the engagement ring, should I hide the son of a bitch? And what are the 49ers going to do with their first-round draft pick? The O-Line could use a little--[etc, etc, mind wandering, interest in subject exhausted]."

Your first move: read The Plunge's 10 Commandments of Popping the Question. That's our overall advice for how to think about the marriage proposal, how to scheme, how to not screw it up. But maybe you need some actual, concrete guidelines. We've rounded up the most common, cool proposal ideas (and the uncool) and given you the Pros and Cons. Good luck.

The Family Gathering Proposal
If
she likes: Awkward public moments.
Pros: Very few. If her parents already love you, perhaps they'll love you even more. And you won't have to spend two hours serially calling all of her relatives and repeating how-you-proposed stories and announcing your engagement--they're all there. Whhooo.
Cons: Don't do this. Ever. It puts crushing pressure on her, it's awkward for the family, and it robs the moment of all its privacy and dignity. Plus, proposing in front of the family is what the bad guy does in romantic comedies--Bradley Cooper in Wedding Crashers, Cal from Titanic, and the Soul Glo guy from Coming to America. Don't be that guy.

Airplane Letters in the Sky
If she likes: Attention, avionics
Pros: Can be dramatic. Creates the sense that this is NEWS, something that everyone within a 3-mile radius must know about, and must know about now. Also, if you're truly daring and want to risk some pinpoint timing, you can combine this with any other proposal idea and use it as the punch line for when you're ready to ask the question, "will you marry me.".
Cons: There's risk. Do you know precisely when this will happen? Are you absolutely convinced you can get her outdoors at the right place at the right time in the right weather...and that the pilot spells the right name?

The Sporting Event
If she likes: Attention from 16,000 strangers.
Pros: This one's tricky. Remember that the marriage proposal is about her, not you. So if you're a die-hard Orioles fan and think it would be badass to propose to her at a game, well, don't. Only do it if she's the die-hard Orioles fan, and even then, only do it if she's obsessed. And don't do this in a playoff game. That last "playoff game" rule is less about romance and more about male-etiquette. Dude it's the playoffs. Show some respect for your team.
Cons: If the answer's not "Yes," you'll blow $60,000 on therapy over the next 10 years to heal the scars.

Cook Her Dinner
If she likes: Quiet evenings at home more than trendy hotspots
Pros: This works best for guys who never cook. Seriously. It'll mean that much more to her. And frankly, cooking a meal isn't really that damn hard. You just find a recipe and follow the bastard. Bonus: sometime in advance, get her to confess her absolute favorite dinner ever-including details on side dishes, appetizers, and dessert. If you're desperate for information and she's tight-lipped, resort to the old "What would you order for dinner as your last meal in case you get electrocuted?" trick. Recreate this meal faithfully down to every last detail, minus electrocution.
Cons: You need to dress it up (flowers, a cartoonish amount of candles, wear a tie, etc.) otherwise it might be too ho-hum.

Sky-Diving
If she likes: Mountain Dew, the X-Games, saying the word "bitchin'"
Pros: We suppose this could work for the certain kind of woman, but you need to be abundantly certain that she has thought about getting engaged, is ready for it, expects it any day now, and the marriage proposal itself is just a formality. A sudden surprise or shock could lead to her freaking out and forgetting to open the parachute, which might cause the not-ideal downside of...
Cons: Death.

The Romantic Restaurant
If she likes: Stability, tradition.
Pros: It's the right setting: flickering candles, white-gloved waiters, all that crap. You'll both feel like celebrities as you soak in the thrill of the spotlight. You already have a venue picked out for your 5-year anniversary dinner, so there's that.
Cons: While it's not quite as garish as a hockey game, still, there's public pressure. Make sure this is a done-deal.

The Scavenger Hunt
If she likes: Nostalgia, kitschy adventure, Chuck-E-Cheese
Pros: All cynicism aside, it will probably be a lot of fun and she'll probably find it pretty damn charming. If you go this route, make sure you make the "clues" incorporate all sorts of personalized references and inside jokes. This shows you know her, you get her, and that you're so in love you've spent 17 hours plotting this little Easter egg hunt.
Cons: It involves hiding the engagement ring. Which could mean losing the very expensive diamond ring. Note: hopefully you should realize this on your own, but hey, we're not taking any chances: don't bury your new $X,0000 bauble somewhere then leave it. Maybe bury something else, like a note that says "Will youmarry me?" then as she's reading it you pull the ring out of your pocket and finish the question.

Walk on the Beach
If she likes: Fairytale romance.
Pros: This one's tried and true. You're letting nature do the work for you-the lapping of waves against the shore, the warm feel of sand between your toes, the soft glow of twilight.
Cons: Screaming children, crabs, and jellyfish. Obviously scout your beach in advance and ensure it's secluded and safe.

The Hike
If she likes: Well...hikes.
Pros: For the woman who'd rather kill an hour at REI than Tiffany's, you can do a lot worse than a hike to some vista. Do your homework and hunt for the best spots-waterfalls, mountain peaks, breathtaking views, nature-shit like that. Pack a picnic that includes champagne and her favorite food. Don't even think about hiding the ring under a rock, or we'll come steal it ourselves. One more advantage of this one: if you play your cards right, you're miles away from cell phone range and you can postpone those 178 "announcement calls" she has to make. (More tips on how to announce the engagement here.)
Cons: If your destination is too well-known, it might be crawling with tourists, boy scouts, and those weird old-people-hikers who walk with ski-pole-thingies. Think about going somewhere off-trail or less populous.

Where You First Met
If she likes: You.
Pros:
We like this because it's personalized. Depending on the venue, this'll require a little ingenuity on your part. If you met at the park playing frisbee? Easy money. More complicated, though, if you met at a dance club, prison, or free clinic.
Cons:
Obviously this is all dependent on the venue, but what you can do is incorporate the meeting-place into a more elaborate date. For instance, say you met at a bookstore. You can take her to dinner and a four-star hotel, but as part of the date you casually swing by the old bookstore to do a little browsing. You don't even need to pop the question there, but incorporating it into the evening will add a personal flourish to your proposal.

The Hot-Air Balloon
If she likes: 3rd-tier chick flicks like Maid in Manhattan Never Been Kissed, and Sweet Home Alabama
Pros:
It'll give her something to talk and brag about, even if her friends roll their eyes behind her back. Okay, and we'll be honest, there's something undeniably thrilling about floating over the country at sunset, toasting champagne, and making out with your new fiancée.
Cons: What's the hot-air-balloon-operator dude supposed to do, just sort of awkwardly look to the side like nothing's happening, pretend he's chatting on his cell phone, or really get into the act and give you both his blessing on your happy engagement?

The Kiddy Proposal
If she likes: Teaching, babysitting, spilled applesauce
Pros: We see this proposal recommended a lot-it's like what Ben Still tries at the beginning of Meet the Parents, where you somehow involve a gang of toddlers in the proposal. You'll get huge points from her parents, older siblings and her friends that don't have sex anymore.
Cons: Dude. You just asked a bunch of 7-year-olds to carry your weight. Another downside: when she says yes, you'll both be standing awkwardly in front of a throng of kiddies, meaning you'll only get a chaste kiss, maximum.

The Plunge Endorsement: The Vacation
If she likes: Things that don't suck.
Pros: You get away from your routine. You suddenly open up a million possibilities of outside-the-box activities: horseback riding, scuba diving, whatever. You can throw in a nice hotel. And most importantly, you get some much-needed smokescreen. She won't necessarily realize that your romantic activities are prelude to a marriage proposal, she'll just think they're part of the vacation.
Cons: It ain't cheap. And if she says no? That's one long, loooong-ass plane ride home.

Obviously, this list is nowhere near comprehensive. It's a starter list, the basics. If you have your own proposal story you want to share, either post it in the comments or drop us a line.

Or are you on the fence about a couple of options and want guidance? We can give you some specifics. Write us at Drowning@ThePlunge.com.

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Comments (14)

...

hehe get some ideas!
Michelle Ryder, September 10, 2009
 

Proposal...

My fiance proposed to me at Neuschwanstein in Germany when we were on a tour/vacation. It was beautiful!
Erinn, September 11, 2009
 

Our proposal

My husband proposed to me on Valentine's day, after he reenacted our first date, with a horse-drawn carriage ride thrown in. It was wonderfully romantic and memorable. :-)
Kait, September 12, 2009
 

...

I got the scavenger hunt proposal and it was great, because I found it right before a family dinner on the 4th of July. my dog had passed away the day before, and it was just perfect of him to do it on that day, as it was also the week we first met! It was romantic and sensitive. We even played "I spy" at the diner table cause I hid it after we came in.My dad was the only one who even had an inkling about it!
it'sOURparty2010, September 18, 2009
 

Not so romantic

My fiance and I went to putt-putt golf to begin the evening which was really fun and kinda romantic because it was at night and we were the only ones on the course. After that we went to my favorite Chinese restaurant that he had never been to; which he made sure I knew how much he disliked it! Then we were supposed to go for a walk on the beach but it was after dark so all the beaches were closed. So, we stopped by my grandparents house then went home. Finally, after we got home, while i was making the bed, he came up behind me and put his arms around me and asked to marry me.

While it was sweet, it was far from romantic. But that's ok. I love him so much anyways. All I have to say to all you potential grooms out there, one piece of advice: at least look into her eyes when you pop the question!
Brandy, November 02, 2009
 

@sunset on a cruise

I was proposed to at sunset time on a Royal Caribbean cruiseship somewhere between Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I'm a sucker for sunsets so he knew this would be an ideal setting for the proposal, and he did it on the helicopter pad which is a nice setting. I was so excited to say "yes" that I forgot to do what I always told myself to do - whenever this big day came, I had wanted to reply with "why?" so that he could list all heartfelt reasons why. Ladies, you might want to do that - it puts him on the spot, yes, but he just put you on the spot as well ;) hehe. Make sure you ask with a smile so he doesn't think you are shooting him down. Guys - you might want to give thought to some personable, thoughtful things to tell her before popping the question. Especially if she asks you "why?" hehe. Right when you get down on your knee, talk to her from your heart. It will build the suspense more than just jumping straight to the question, and it will make her cry! A good cry! She might even cry in the future when she remembers the moment you told it to her from the heart.
-n.
noni, November 08, 2009
 

forgot to add... a proposal gone wrong

I was proposed to before, by a different guy. In a nutshell:
-went to bar after work
-went home, really tired, he called asking me to not to fall asleep yet
-I proceeded to play PS2 for a couple hours
-he came home buzzed, walked up to me (remember I was playing PS2 on the couch)
-he handed me a small box and said "this is for you".

YEP that was my proposal! The ring was way too big. The severe lack of thought in his proposal made me question the whole thing - I found myself reasoning on his qualities and found myself thinking "If this is how it is now, how will it be for the rest of my life?"... as this was someone I had dated 3.5yrs and who had cheated on me twice, and I paid the mortgage all on my own, and I couldn't depend on him to care enough to put some decent thought into the proposal. I gave the ring back within an hour, and he said he would re-propose and make it better. I told him "you can't re-do proposals," and told him all my concerns. He told me it would've cost him a lot of money to "put thought into it"... to which I replied "putting thought into something doesn't mean it has to be cost a lot." This was THE day I had been waiting for from him, and when it came I realized the right answer was NO. (A couple months later he moved in with my neighbor and married her - I made a wise decision in rejecting him!). Years later I am very content and pleased to have said YES to someone who takes great care of my heart and shows thought and concern for me. So - it was good I said no, and knew that a little time and patience would bring a suitable husband for me. :)
noni, November 08, 2009
 

...

I think almost every girl would like to have a romantic propose. And so do I. As I had dreamed of being the most beautiful bride in the world since I was a little girl, I wished I could have the romantic propose also. For thousands of hundreds of times, I dreamed about the proposal to me. My Prince Charming should wear the white suit with excellent workmanship. He would walk towards me with a smile on his face, and then he shows me the ring. My eyes would be nearly blinded by the shining diamond and the place for proposal should be the Hawaii or at least the Caribbean beach in the sunset. Or my Prince Charming should bring me to a high class restaurant, in which lots of well dressed ladies and gentlemen would be the witnesses of our love. He should put the ring in the champion or in my dessert. The band would play romantic songs, such as The First Time When I Saw Your Face or Can You Feel Love Tonight, while he proposes to me. These scenes are all in old style, but I love them just like girls want to have wedding in Plaza.
All my dreams about proposal are romantic and beautiful. But my boyfriend ruined everything. I moved into his apartment three months after our first date. I love him but I did not think about marry him so quickly so I did not tell him anything about my dream. I thought it might give him so pressure. But one day, when we attend a party together in his hometown, the host gave me a rubber wristband with a ring connected to it and it printed “Would you marry me?” As soon as I received the ring, he asked me through microphone on the stage. The location was in a farm and the theme for that party was about propagation of farm animals. It was far away from my dream! I love him so I accept his proposal, but the disappointment would company with me for my whole life.
cjniya, November 12, 2009
 

My proposal to my fiance and a few observations

Let me start out by saying that plucking a proposal from any website is just not a good idea. This website is great because they give you general ideas. For some reason, it seems to be the case that quite a few men have to rack their brains to be romantic. Men are OFTEN accused of being very simple (emotionally) but let's spin the table here and just look at a few facts that I have noticed in my 23 years on this planet (mind you, I am a social psychologist). Observation 1- Every action that you (as the male in the relationship) make, will have a reaction. The size or power of the reaction depends on you. If you have been with someone long enough to know that you want to marry them... you should know what things gross her out and what things make her say "awwwwWWW". Everyone is different. She may not say "awwwwWWW" but she is thinking it and you should be able to pick that up by a look or some kind of body language. Simply said- watch some chick flicks.
Observation number 2- Check out the comments in this section. NOT ONE IS MADE BY A GUY!!!! This site is about HOW TO PROPOSE and HOW TO BUY A RING- Women don't have to worry about this kind of stuff but they are obviously possessed with it to come to this site and actually READ the articles. So guys- this obviously means a lot to them.

My proposal kept her guessing the whole time... We have dated since freshman year in highschool (8 yrs)and we just randomly take trips all the time so it wasn't out of the ordinary for us fly over to miami (we live in tampa) for the weekend. So I told her we would be going out of town for the weekend and we packed our bags. I took her to cocoa beach and had a picnic already set up by a hired proposal service. It couldn't have been better timing to finish eating because as soon as we did, our hot air balloon landed about 30 yards from where we were sitting... she immediately knew something was up. We went up. We came down. Not yet. I could tell that she thought that the moment was there... in the sky... she seemed dejected when we came down. I told her that we still had a long day and really wanted to keep her excited. The proposal service arranged for a helicopter to pick us up about 20 minutes from the beach and took us out to the Don Cesar hotel where I proposed to her on the top dinner deck. They drove my car with our bags in it to the Don where we staying the night in a rose pedal filled room. This is one of the biggest moments in your life, treat it like it should be. Spend what you can because you wont ever regret it. Good luck guys!!!!!
Jon Liebler, November 13, 2009
 

did the hike option

i laughed when i read the hike proposal because the REI comment is EXACTLY like my fiancee. i asked her the afternoon after she ran a half marathon and we went for a casual walk along the beach and bluffs. i felt like a damn fool with the ring box sticking out of my jeans and kept trying to find the best place to do it. she had no idea and just kept clicking pictures. everywhere i wanted to sit was either too open or with people around. finally i suggested we hop a barb wire fence and wander out to a grassy edge of a cliff. We sat down and i thought wow this place is perfect, do it already!! in short i eventually manned up and asked her and the ring fit and she started crying. the sun was shining across the water and we watched the ships coming in to dock. i will never forget that for the rest of my life.
Eric Christofferson, December 08, 2009
 

disney land

my fiance who usually cannot hide anything from me. Planned a trip to disneyland, on our night at magic kingdom he said he had a special surprise for me. He took me out to dinner at cinderellas castle, I thought this was the surprise. Dinner was amazing and for desert I ordered this chocolate cake thing, well thats not what i got. They brought over this white chine plate with a cover on it, when the took the cover off the plate was covered in rose petals, in the center of the plate was a glass slipper, in the glass slipper was a ring. By the time I looked up he was down on one knee, ( shaking and in four different shades of red, he is not a but public display kinda guy). He couldnt even get the words out before I jumped up and said yes, I was crying so hard I had no idea there were photographers taking picutres of the whole thing!

,....top that... ;p
smcd, January 18, 2010
 

play to your strengths and make it personal

My boyfriend proposed to me in his apartment. Before he came to pick me up, he set up squares with quotes from movies, songs, and tv shows of different ways to say "I love you" all around his apartment, so that when we came back it was waiting for us. Once I collected all of the squares, there was a poem written on the back chronicling how nervous he was to ask me out on our first date, and how he now had another question to ask, but that he wasn't so nervous because he knew we were meant to be together and that I would say yes. Then he got on one knee and held out my ring and proposed. It was perfect, because it was very personal. He loves writing, and is really good at writing poetry. He is very cheesy and sentimental - even more than I am - and all of the quotes came from songs, movies, or tv shows that we both enjoyed, or watched together.

My suggestions? Play to your strengths. You'll be more confident if you feel comfortable. That said, pick a good strength. I'm not talking about being awesome at video games (unless your girl is really into that sort of thing, too). Do something you know your girlfriend will love and appreciate. If you can cook, cook. If you can write a poem, write a poem. If you're an artist, design something. If you can play an instrument, play her a song. My last suggestion is what this article said - make it personal. Do or make something specifically for her, reference something from your relationship, read her some song lyrics that are meaningful to you guys - whatever it is, make it personal.
Andrea, February 01, 2010
 

The first one...

I laughed so hard when I read the first one of these. My now fiance proposed at my 21st in front of ALL of my friends and relatives. He was the last speech and he made a brilliant one which had me crying anyway and then he knelt on one knee and asked if I would marry him. You know what? I wouldn't have had it any other way.

This said, we both knew where the relationship was going and we both knew we wanted to get married. If this is you; it could be THE Most romantic thing to do. PLUS the expressions on peoples' faces in the photos (it was a shock to most) is something I will always be able to giggle at!
Ally, March 06, 2010
 

My proposal on the bricks of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (check out the video!)

My fiancee is a huge race fan so I proposed to her on the bricks at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on May 29, 2010 - the day before the Indy 500. This is a much condensed version of my proposal (it was a lot more elaborate and thought out than this), but I got an invite to a Corvette owners only event and told her it was for work and that a client gave me tickets. I borrowed a Corvette (she didn't know we would have one), got to drive it by police escort to the track, and took a lap around the track and had IMS officials stop us on the bricks so I could propose. I also got her favorite driver, Tony Kanaan, to congratulate us on camera. I have it all on video on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0QuuWjRdmk
AustinD, June 21, 2010
 
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