How Many Best Men? Is it Dumb to Have Multiple

Is it dumb to have multiple best men?

“I have 3 best friends that I’m trying to decide on a best man.  All 3 of us go back to elementary school together and have grown up through the years.  I don’t know how to choose one and not sure if I can, any one of them one be a great best man…would it be dumb to have 3 best men?”

-The Plunge Reader

Is it dumb to have three best men?

A little.

Then again, there are lots of things that are dumb at weddings. Just a very small sampling, in no particular order:

  • -The fact that the bride wears a “veil” even though you, and everyone in attendance, has seen her face at least 17,287 times.
  • -The fact that wedding communications, such as invitations, thank you notes, and RSVP cards, are on the cutting edge of 17th century technology.
  • -The fact that the typical wedding costs more than the typical car and typical flatscreen TV, combined.
  • No one blinks at spending $500 on wedding cake…for what amounts to a big-ass mixture of sugar, flour, and butter.
  • Having multiple best men is no dumber than all of that.

Do it.

However, there are some very real-world issues you’ll have to consider. For one, there are some specific, singular duties of the best man. A biggie is walking the maid of honor down the aisle. While it’s an entertaining visual, we don’t recommend three best men escorting a single maid of honor, Greek-phalanx-style, one on each arm and one dragging her dress.  And you probably don’t want three best men giving a toast. Or three best men clutching the ring. (Sounds like an awful Freddie Prince Jr. movie coming to a theater new year–“The Three Best Men”)

See also: How Every Groomsman Must Behave at the Bachelor Party

You can see where this is headed: just divide and conquer. Tell your three friends that they’re all best men, then carve up the responsibilities and dole them out. One can walk the maid down the aisle, one can hold the ring, one can give the speech.  And so on.

A bonus?  If anyone from the bridal family asks you about your “best men” situation, and you tell them that you all go back to frickin’ elementary school, you’re guaranteed to get a big fat Ahhhhhhwwwwww!!!!, isn’t that adorable!”   Unless they’re real pricks, they’ll appreciate your solidarity and find it charming.

So the hell with tradition–go for it.

Click here for the full duties of the best man and here for what to do if he’s dropping the ball.

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